If you have recognized the signs of abusive behavior in yourself, you might already be on the path to breaking the cycle. Completing a batterer intervention program could help you further your commitment to change. 

GoodTherapy explains that domestic violence is most often a learned behavior. It generally has roots in traditional cultural and societal beliefs of gender authority, among others. Moreover, if you were a witness to abuse when you were a child, these beliefs may be further ingrained in your concept of a “normal” relationship with your partner. 

Definitions of battering 

Psychologists believe that the roots of most domestic violence is the desire to control the household. It is often compounded by the belief that one has the right to do so. In your case, you may not even be aware that it is happening. A few examples of battery include: 

  • Unwarranted physical conduct hostile to your partner 
  • Emotionally influencing language that causes your partner to think less of him- or herself 
  • Other acts that show your desire for control, such as isolating, threatening or intimidating your partner 

Sometimes, violent behavior against a partner is the result of a mental illness, substance abuse or anger control problems. Intervention programs usually treat these as separate issues from batterer rehabilitation. 

Hope for change 

It is very difficult to acknowledge these attributes in your own personality, and improvement could be a life-long effort. Still, batterer intervention programs may help if you commit to understanding why you behave the way you do and devote yourself to learning how to be better. 

These programs can teach you to accept that you are responsible for abusive actions and help you empathize with your partner. The possibility exists that you do not realize how controlling your behaviors are and the detrimental effect they can have. Intervention programs can demonstrate techniques for relinquishing control and healthy conflict resolution. Sometimes, if you can learn how to identify the negative thoughts that often precede violent actions, you might stop yourself from responding in an abusive way.